Carnival Radiance Finale · Was This Cruise Worth It?

What is there to do on the Carnival Radiance on a sea day? Quite a lot, as it turns out. Start in the dining room for sea day brunch, one of our favorite traditions. Then there might be a dive-in movie party to attend, sometimes at 10:30 in the morning, but you are on a cruise so enjoy it. Hang out by the pool, grab a Guy’s Burger or tacos from the Blue Iguana Cantina, catch trivia at the RedFrog Pub in the afternoon, have dinner at Cucina del Capitano, then head to the comedy club.

This is the back half of our four day Radiance sailing out of Long Beach: a full sea day, a very lazy day in Ensenada sharing the port with Quantum of the Seas, and our honest wrap up on whether the whole thing was worth it.

Sea Day Brunch and the Carnival Cutbacks

We need to talk about the bagel. Christina ordered bagels and lox, and it is genuinely the smallest bagel either of us has ever seen. Our working theory is that Carnival took their regular bagel dough and now makes three bagels out of one. Christina asked for extra cream cheese out of habit, because she always gets two with a normal sized bagel. She did not need it.

It was still delicious, to be clear. It is just comically small at this point.

The bigger loss is the chicken and waffles. If you used to order it for that little jug of gravy on the side, as Tony did, it is gone. Without the gravy the waffle is hard and flavorless, and honestly we would tell you to order something else. Tony’s summary after the meal was that he is simply over the sea day brunch now, which is not a sentence either of us expected to say about a Carnival tradition we have enjoyed for years.

The Diamond Party Surprised Us

We almost did not go, because the last one was underwhelming. We are very glad we went.

It was a cocktail party rather than a luncheon, held in the Limelight Lounge, which is the comedy club. There were around 40 Diamond members on board, so it was small, which is exactly what made it work. Jay, the cruise director, introduced the senior officers one by one: Clint, the entertainment director from South Africa, Willie from housekeeping, Angelica from guest services, and the rest of the team. They gave us real time rather than a quick handshake, and we ended up hanging out with a couple of genuinely cool officers.

Jay said something we liked, telling guests that if they are looking for anything or feeling lost, find the white card, because the Diamond members know all the tips and tricks. On a short sailing there are not many Diamonds on board, which he framed as a reason it was an honor to have us, and it did feel that way.

What the Sea Day Actually Looked Like

Pig & Anchor Barbecue Smokehouse opened up and the line was extraordinary, stretching right down the deck and barely moving. It is not bad food. It is just not stand in that line food.

Tony’s first Blue Iguana meal of the cruise was a chicken burrito with refried beans, red onions, and cheese, with red adobo sauce on the side and a margarita alongside. Christina spent the afternoon crocheting on deck with a plate of Tex-Mex casserole from the buffet, which she could not identify the contents of but rated highly. There was a beer pong tournament going on, people up on the ropes course, and enough overcast and breeze that it was pleasant rather than hot.

The trivia was a live band name-that-song session down at the RedFrog Pub, and Christina got 12 points. Sixteen won, and the two people tied at 16 both failed the tiebreaker, which was Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey, and Christina is still slightly outraged about that. She would also like it noted that she lost points on a technicality: the answer had to be the exact song title plus the band name, and she wrote Celebrate instead of Celebration for Kool & the Gang. She played honestly. No points.

There was an 80s party up on deck that evening and we did not go. It was 10:15, we had pizza and a last drink, and we went to bed. That is a completely legitimate way to spend a sea day night.

Sharing Ensenada With Quantum of the Seas

We woke up to a soaked balcony from overnight rain and Quantum of the Seas pulling in beside us. She is a big ship, and the side by side comparison is striking.

What is funny is that Tony is fairly sure he has done this exact shot before from the other direction, filming the Radiance from the Quantum on a previous sailing. From our deck you can see Quantum’s iFly tube under the Royal Caribbean insignia, the FlowRider at the top rear, the big aft suites with their hot tubs, and the wall of glass that is the Two70 lounge. The North Star observation capsule only goes straight up and down while in port, but at sea it swings out over either side of the ship, which gives you genuinely spectacular views.

From the top deck of the Radiance, Deck 10, we were roughly level with Quantum’s balconies and nowhere near her top decks. That gives you a sense of the size gap between a smaller older Carnival ship and a Quantum class vessel.

We Did Almost Nothing in Ensenada, On Purpose

The ship was running a partial evacuation drill that day with all the lifeboats down in the water, bells and sirens included, so getting off for breakfast and a wander was partly self defense.

We had planned to do the Pai Pai animal park and it did not work out on this sailing, so that is on the list for a future Ensenada day. What we got instead was a quiet walk around the port village. The fountains were off, the little shops were gone entirely, and there were tents up, so we think they were setting up for a concert. No shops, no flag, no fountain. That more or less concluded our Ensenada plans.

Capybara Village is there, which is the same spot as the putt-putt we are planning to do on a future visit.

Two practical notes from the port. First, if you need a restroom, go around the back side of the Capybara Village tiki hut. There is a big sign saying Baños, an attendant, and a gate, and it costs 50 cents. In the ladies’ room at least, the toilet paper is out by the sink rather than in the stalls, so grab what you need before you go in, and use the trash can provided rather than the toilet.

Second, watch your feet. There is a genuine ankle breaker of a hole in the walkway, and a large dry fountain basin with about 18 inches of water sitting in one indent. Someone was going in that day, we were certain of it.

Then there were the jumping fish, which Tony spent a solid ten minutes trying and failing to capture on camera while Christina and April maintained that he was seeing floaters, birds, or making it up entirely. He was not making it up. Some of them got real air. The best we managed was a few flops.

Later, as we pulled out at 5:10, we did finally find the sea lions, at least five of them sunning at the end of the dock, one rolling around on his back. Quantum had left an hour before us, and there was a genuinely beautiful silhouette of her out at sea with the North Star raised above the ship.

A Full Tour of the Guy’s Burgers Toppings Bar

Since we had time, here is the complete breakdown.

Your burger options are the Plain Jane, the Straight Up, the Ringer with an onion ring, the Chili Maximus, and the Pig Patty. Tony does the Straight Up, and tried the Chili Maximus and the Pig Patty once each and found neither was his vibe. His recommendation is the Straight Up.

The Straight Up comes with the L Top, which is lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles, plus SMC, which is super melty cheese. You can have them add it up at the window or build your own at the bar.

At the toppings bar: sauteed onions, which arrive a little later than everything else and are absolutely worth waiting for, chili so you can make your own chili burger without ordering one, crispy potato sticks, lettuce, tomato, raw onion, banana peppers, cherry peppers, and jalapeños. Sauces are ranch, ketchup, mustard, chipotle mayo, regular mayo, barbecue, Tabasco, and A1, with little cups to hold them. Tony recommends the chipotle mayo.

Christina went to the Blue Iguana instead and came back with fish tacos, a chicken taco, and a shrimp and rice burrito with lettuce, tomato, and cheese.

Comedy, Zoltar, and a Duck

The Punchliners Comedy Club runs out of the Liquid Lounge, and we caught a PG-13 double header with Mike Burton, who we had already seen at an earlier show and thought was genuinely funny. We sat up at the very top of the second section. The bar down there has a lovely bioluminescent look to it, and it stays open for the duration of the show, which we want to give Carnival real credit for. Other lines close the bar during shows and we notice every time.

Zoltar the fortune teller machine gave us a poem: “Life is mostly froth and bubble. Two things stand alone. Kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own.” Not bad for a ship arcade.

And Christina successfully worked the claw machine for a cruise duck, then went back and got a second one, a duck dressed as a sloth that was buried awkwardly and took some strategy, plus a strawberry one and a blue one. Duck acquisition: complete.

Tony’s Laundry Tip

This is the one practical thing to steal from this whole cruise. Tony carries a small foldable pop-out hamper for dirty laundry, with the metal rods removed because he does not want to pack those.

On board, look for a removable closet bar. Slide the bar through one handle of the hamper and hang it back up. You now have a sturdy hanging hamper that is up off the cabin floor. You could set it on the floor, but hanging it keeps it out of the way for the whole sailing.

Back in Long Beach: Was It Worth It?

We tied up in Long Beach next to our old friend the Queen Mary on a chilly but perfectly decent Monday morning.

On the cabin: it was nice. Relatively quiet for an aft cabin, with cabins above, below, and beside us, and for a four day sailing that was better than we expected. The shower pressure was really good. The bed was comfortable. One oddity, the sink ran with a yellowish tint the first couple of days, which sorted itself out before Tony could get it on camera, and yes, that was a little nasty while it lasted.

On the ports: Catalina was fun, and the golf cart run around the island was the highlight of the trip. Ensenada we barely touched, and we are fine with that.

Honestly, this was a lazy cruise. A four day booze cruise where we grazed, chilled, watched some comedy, lost some money in the casino and won a bit back, and did not push ourselves to do anything. Sometimes that is exactly the cruise you need, and the Radiance is well suited to it. She is small, cozy, and there is live music everywhere, which is precisely what Christina wants from an older Carnival ship.

Worth it? For what we wanted out of it, yes. Just go in knowing what an older, smaller Carnival ship is, and do not expect the sea day brunch you remember.